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'2012/03'에 해당되는 글 5건
2012/03/13 07:41
I wrote this first version of "20 reasons to love my son" in 2009. It was an assignment from 'Father's school'. In this program, for 4 days, I learned how to love and how to communicate to my family - wife, son, and daughter.

Here is the original version of 2009.

01. I love Timmy who wakes up by himself on time.
02. I love Timmy who eats any food with appreciation.
03. I love Timmy who smiles a lot and who is always positive.
04. I love Timmy who keeps himself clean and neat.
05. I love Timmy who always does exercise and has a good body shape.

06. I love Timmy who puts an effort in Taekwondo and teaches younger kids.
07. I love Timmy who didn't quit Violin for 8 years.
08. I love Timmy who sang a beautiful song in Middle school graduation ceremony.
09. I love Timmy who practices guitar everyday to be a good soloist.
10. I love Timmy who writes well, as like me :)

11. I love Timmy who was so sad when he got 690 from math and couldn't get into SET.
12. I love Timmy who felt sorry for his jealousy to his friend who got in a prep school.
13. I love Timmy who can make friends at any time anywhere.
14. I love Timmy who understands any book he reads so easily.
15. I love Timmy who read Harry Potter bought in San Francisco airport before the flight arrived Seoul.

16. I love Timmy who asked me help to overcome temptation for pornography.
17. I love Timmy who is tall and handsome, not like me.
18. I love Timmy who says "I love you" to mom and hugs her frequently.
19. I love Timmy who has many of my weak points.
20. I love Timmy who will overcome the weak points and be a better person than me.

...

I remember people asked me "Why do you attend father's school? You are already a good father!" I said "I am not a good father. I want to be a real good father." But frankly, I thought I was one. I thought I was doing well as a father.

3 years passed. Timmy is now 16, becoming 17 in a week. Going through good times and not-so-good times. And I am realizing that I am really not-a-good father. I was not a good listener. When he needs help, I didn't provide it. I didn't communicate. 

This morning, I encountered this 2009 writing by a chance. Since then, many things are changed. He quit something and picked up new things. My understanding of him is changed also.

So Here comes a 2012 version. Many of them changed and will change as time goes. But the last two-line will be same.

01. I love Timmy who wakes up at 5 in the morning to be an early bird.
02. I love Timmy who eats any food with appreciation.
03. I love Timmy who smiles a lot and is always positive.
04. I love Timmy who keeps himself clean and neat.
05. I love Timmy who always does exercise and has a good body shape.

06. I love Timmy who likes to think and wants to be a philosophy professor.
07. I love Timmy who realizes happiness is not from money or position.
08. I love Timmy who lost 20 lbs in 3 weeks to compete in wrestling as a varsity.
09. I love Timmy who puts his effort to be a great wrestler.
10. I love Timmy who overcame limitations and did a wonderful job during debates season.

11. I love Timmy who overcame internal struggle and decided to be honest with me.
12. I love Timmy who admits mistakes and tries to make up all the time.
13. I love Timmy who can make friends at any time anywhere.
14. I love Timmy who understands any book he reads so easily.
15. I love Timmy who is tall and handsome, not like me.

16. I love Timmy who wants to find his own meaning of his life.
17. I love Timmy who wants me to be proud of him.
18. I love Timmy who says "I love you" to mom and hugs her frequently.
19. I love Timmy who has many of my weak points.
20. I love Timmy who will overcome the weak points and be a better person than me.

...

As I think 20 reasons to love Timmy, in other parts of my mind, I had one question. "Do you need 20 reasons to love him?"

Of course not. I don't need 20 reasons. I love him because he is Timmy, my son :)
 

'사랑을 말한다' 카테고리의 다른 글

20 Reasons to Love My Son  (4) 2012/03/13
이런 사랑 멋지지 않나요?  (2) 2012/01/09
Boston Rescue Mission  (6) 2011/08/22
슬픈 장례식  (0) 2011/08/13
결혼 - 환상의 파괴? 혹은 환상의 완성?  (13) 2011/01/16
마흔 두번째 맞이한 사랑  (16) 2009/11/10
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BlogIcon kongseonlee | 2012/03/13 10:36 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL | REPLY
You are a "real" good father!
BlogIcon 쉐아르 | 2012/03/20 22:22 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL
Thanks. I want to be :)
BlogIcon 지하련 | 2012/05/25 16:46 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL | REPLY
저도 이런 걸 해봐야겠군요. 어떻게 사랑하지 않을 수 있겠습니까, 가족을! 하지만 사랑하는 이유에 대해선 생각해보진 않았던 것같아요. 이번 기회에 적고 가족들에게 한 번 보여줘야 겠어요. : )
BlogIcon 쉐아르 | 2012/07/15 01:54 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL
참 오랜만에 블로그에 들렀습니다. 한동안 방치를 했더니 광고 댓글로 엉망이 되어 있네요. 관리좀 해야겠습니다 ㅡ.ㅡ

한번 적어보세요. 가족들 모두에게 적어놓은게 있는데 각자 생일 때 올린다고 해놓고 잊어버렸습니다. 다시 올려야겠어요 ^^
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2012/03/10 14:05

What?

Last time, I wrote about how to handle troubled situations. I laid down the best approaches when you are stuck in a difficult situation. I liked it. The three actions you should take in the situation are the best choices, I believe. But, I got another question. Is that it? The thought was very 'Humanistic'. There was no room for Divinity.

So What?

Last Sunday, my church's pastor gave a great sermon. Interestingly, the topic was same. How to handle troubled situations. But the conclusion was totally different my writing.

The passage of the sermon was from Exodus where Moses and Israelite were facing red sea and Egyptian army was chasing them. Israelite didn't go there by a chance. Bible says that God told Moses to bring his people to that place and wait. It was near important army base of Egypt. The instruction did not make any sense. No wonder Israelite complained. But that's when God showed who HE is - dividing Red Sea so people can cross and making it collapsed with Egyptian army.

With God in the picture, it becomes a totally different story.

Now What?

First, do not fear. You need to trust HE has a plan for you no matter what the situation is. You may be there by your mistake or some force beyond your control. Still have faith. HE can turn the trouble into a blessing. HE is the king.

Second, know your place and know how HE works. In previous posting, I said you need to do your best as if your life depends on it. But Bible teaches other way. Sometimes you should shut your mouth and watch what HE does. It is tricky because sometimes HE wants you to act. You need to know how HE works. A good news is as the situation gets worse and you have less options, HE shows greater things.

Third, grow through the experience. HE turns your trouble into a training. Not just a training. It makes you distinguished. Blessing when you are thrown into a fire furnace transforms you. Again, everything is about YOU. HE wants YOU to grow. What HE cares is only YOU.

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2012/03/05 22:37

For recent several years, I have struggled from bad habits. They are including lack of focus, multi-tasking, procrastination, and urge to check SNS and news. It was not bad at the beginning. Even though I used internet, I could control easily. I had good focus. But ironically as I have more load from work and study, I lose focus more.

I don't know which one came first. Lack of focus? Or procratination? Anyway, they are each sides of one coin. When I don't have focus, I procrastinate. In order to procrastinate, I open myself to distractions.

There were several attempts to change my habit with some success. But sooner or later, bad habits come back. Sometimes I see myself watching movies even though final is several days away :( I know it is to avoid pressures. I know the theories of procrastination. I can diagnose myself ... But still MY BEHAVIOR IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!

Here I try again. I don't remember how many tries I made before. It doesn't matter. This must be the last one. My first target is getting rid of distractions since there are many developed over the years.

Tweeter consumed my time, sometimes a lot. I had good number of followers. I used it to share my thoughts on self-development, politics, and other not-right topics. It was not total waste of time. But I let it go. More harm than benefit.

News portal consumed my attention. It's gone. No urge to check it multiple times a day.

Politics of my home country was important to me. Now I put it in the good hands of people in the land. Anyway, I can't even vote in Korean elections.

Facebook will continue. There are good connections - friends, classmates and collegues. But I will limit my time on it for 10 min per day. I am enforcing myself with 'StayFocused' - chrome extension.

I have two blogs. One in Korean and one in English. I care for them, specially one in Korean. Tons of thoughts I put there. Good connections too. But I didn't write a word on it for a while. I am letting it go too. From now, I will write only on this blog in English.

Still there are unlimited sources of distractions. I need to get rid of them one by one. Oh! I got rid of TV too. There is no cable at my home. Only netflix.

'Focus' - free e-book of Leo Babauta is my guide now for this new journey. Once I succeed with first habit change, I will move toward next one. 'Focus' - powered by unschedule.

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Ruhamah | 2012/03/08 01:37 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL | REPLY
It's really impressive that you always try to change and pursue a better situation
BlogIcon 쉐아르 | 2012/03/10 14:07 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL
Thanks. But also I am surprised from time to time that I make progress so slowly with this many tries :(
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2012/03/04 14:52
What?

From time to time, you are stuck in a situation that you never wanted. Your boss told you that your end of year review will be bad. You got suspended from your school. You could not prepare a term paper when it is due tomorrow. Or you got a notice from the collection office because someone you co-signed did not pay her loan. No one ever wants to be in this kind of situation. But still it happens. So what you are gonna do?

So what?

The goal is to get out of the situation, of course. But is that it? You may get help from someone, or from God. (People will call it ‘luck’ or ‘blessing’ depending on their belief. I am the latter, btw.) You may find a way to get out by yourself. The problem may disappear suddenly. Or in many cases, you live with the consequences.

But is that it? Shouldn’t be. If you just want to get out of the situation and make the experience a piece of memory as you do, there is no improvement. There should be better way to deal with it.

Now what?

First, deal with it with everything you have. You never know what’s going to happen when you throw all of you as if your life depends on it. Do the best. Don’t leave any excuse.

Second, put your effort on the best bang for the buck. To make the best out of your effort, you need to find out what area will make the best outcome. There must be one or two. Focus on the areas. You don’t have much time.

Third, learn from it. Analyze why you got there. What could prevent the situation? Who caused the trouble? Don’t skim through. Go deep. Go to the root cause. But remember. It is not for finger-pointing. All thoughts should end up with these questions. “What could YOU do to prevent it? What could YOU do to make a better outcome?” It is all about you, not someone else.
 
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2012/03/04 02:51
두달가량 블로그에 소홀했습니다. 개인적으로 바쁜 일들도 있었지만 전부터 마음을 정하지 못하고 있던 문제 때문에 블로그를 멀리하게 되었습니다. 그건 블로깅을 어떤 언어로 할 것인가입니다. 전에도 언급했던 질문이지요. 몇번 영어 포스팅도 했었구요.

결론을 내렸습니다. 당분간 (몇년이 될지는 모르겠지만) 영어로만 글을 쓰렵니다. 가장 큰 이유는 제 아이들 때문입니다. 평생을 미국에서 자란 아이들이라 우리말로 이야기는 주고 받을 수 있지만 읽기는 많이 부족합니다. 제가 쓰는 글을 이해하기는 거의 불가능에 가깝지요 ㅡ.ㅡ 하지만 제가 쓰는 글에는 저희 아이들이 읽어주었으면 하는 내용들이 상당합니다. 그게 오랫동안 아쉬움으로 남았지요. 

당분간 영어로만 포스팅을 합니다. 만들어 놓고 사용하지 않던 영어 블로그를 적극적으로 활용하기로 했습니다. futureshaper.wordpress.com입니다. 이 티스토리 블로그는 잠정 중단할까 하다가 영어 포스팅을 그대로 올리려고 합니다. 그렇다고 댓글까지 영어일 필요는 없습니다. 부담가지지 마시길 ^^

제가 영어를 잘한다고 생각한 적 없습니다. 다만 미국에 사는 아버지로서 할 수 있는 최선을 다하고 있다 생각해주셨으면 하는 마음입니다. 

 
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BlogIcon Crete | 2012/03/04 03:45 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL | REPLY
좋은 결정을 하셨네요. 영어로라도(?) 자주 뵙기를 기대하겠습니다.
BlogIcon 쉐아르 | 2012/03/04 13:55 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL
안녕하세요. 네. 영어로라도 열심히 창조를 해보려고 합니다 ^^
Nicholas | 2012/03/04 20:33 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL | REPLY
최근들어 뜸하셔서 궁금했었는데요.
훌륭한 결정을 하셨네요.
저는 아직은 어리지만 두 딸아이에게 어떤 아빠가 되어야 할까 항상 고민인데 말이죠.
BlogIcon 쉐아르 | 2012/03/05 04:38 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL
네. 조금 오래 블로그에 들르지 않았지요. 모르겠어요. 이게 최선의 선택인지는요. 그래도 아이들과 조금이라도 더 소통하기 위한 결정이었습니다. 시간이 많다면야 두 언어로 다 포스팅을 하겠지만요 ^^ 그럴 상황이 아니어서요.
BlogIcon 격물치지 | 2012/04/02 20:34 | PERMALINK | EDIT/DEL | REPLY
덕분에 영어공부 좀 하겠습니다. ^^
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